Two of me

Sometimes I feel like there are two of me; one that commands to jump ahead, and the other that holds me back. When I see something that holds my attention, that causes a little piercing in my memory, I want to strike out in a new direction and create a new thought with this new punctum as my seedling. Other times, new thoughts are a distraction, like so much extra noise in a room otherwise quiet and perfect for reading. I am both me and the idea of me. As a brand, I am both a call and a response. When chasing my own tail, I have only the changing shadows of night and day to keep me renewed.

Tako is a terrific shopper, but also a terrifically elusive target. She always gets me the perfect gift, and I am always less than satisfied with what I find for her. I am a professional, this should be easy, but it is harder than it seems when it really counts.

The pop-up shop is coming along. I found a nice space in the right place and just about have all of the permits and permissions done. Retail is a carnival of mirrors. I'm getting more comfortable as ring master.

I've been looking at the history of illustration. It is a complete and separate art history that parallels traditional art history, and even shares a few names, but exists wholly on its own. J.C. Leyendecker is a God among illustrators, but doesn't get even a paragraph in the annals of fine art painting. Where will I be remembered? As an aquatic couturier? As a curious side note? Fashion has no memory. Art cannot even pronounce the word fashion, even though it is just as fickle with its trends. I have only today, this season, this idea, this showroom, this fitting, this cut, this drape, this wrap, this moment to get it right. Every attempt always comes down to this.

So do I jump? Do I hold myself back?

Tonight I can hear the symphony of my ideas ringing as clearly as church bells. So yes - I jump.